We’re in the midst of summer and I find myself wishing it were October already. The stifling heat and humidity have taken away the enjoyment of being outside and spending time in the garden. Even early in the morning I find myself pouring sweat and ready to pass out after just a few minutes of being out there. I blame the Pacific Northwest and their mild summers for making me weak. Another situation causing me to be an angry gardener is fighting a slew of creepy crawlies that have been ravaging my garden each day. My kale gets consumed down to the spine of the leaf and my green been plant sometimes looks like Swiss cheese after a swarm of beetles comes through. It feels like an uphill battle, but we’ve been able to salvage what we can and deter them.
When I’m not hollering every swear word I know at insects, I’m harvesting what hasn’t been eaten and putting it to use in recipes. Last week I shared two recipes using mint from the garden and I’ve already made several more. A delicious summer cocktail using the basil simple syrup recipe I shared on Instagram, cupcakes, and all things pickled! It feels great to be working on posts again and I can’t wait to share them with you.
On a more personal note..
It could be the weather or just having a full work schedule with not a lot of time leftover, but I’ve been feeling a little stagnant and drained of my energy. I was taking time once a week to do horseback riding lessons and volunteer at a local stable, but after one of the instructors left abruptly, the riding program kind of fell apart. All the work on the garden helped fill that time void, but with it being unbearably hot and gross out, I haven’t been able to sit down and truly enjoy it. I feel like I’ve put a lot of the things I was doing for myself on back burner leaving me resentful, exhausted, and unfulfilled.
After having this realization I’m happy to say that I’m slowly navigating my way out of this slump by reclaiming that time for myself again, but I want to at least acknowledge it so that I can move on from it. I often get comments on my Instagram saying that my posts are so positive and uplifting, so it’s only fair to share that it’s not always the case. Growing up my family were more realists and even now the majority of people I know think of the “what ifs” and worst case scenarios in a situation, goal, or idea. I suppose that’s why after any hiccup in my life, I easily fall into a pessimistic outlook that’s followed by a downward spiral of bad thoughts about myself. Being positive or having an optimistic point of view is something I have to practice on a regular basis to combat that learned behavior and thinking of a negative perspective.
I guess what I’m getting at is that we all wake up with the opportunity to choose how to perceive our life and the events happening within it. We also all have the right to ugly cry, hyperventilate, and feel like a sad sack of shit when life is seemingly beating us down. The point is not to stay down for long. Acknowledge it, be kind to yourself (because your love and kindness means the most), and move forward.
How do you pick yourself back up when you have moments of self doubt? What’s that one thing that you do for you and you only?