The past few months I’ve felt really guilty about not posting as often as I should. Typically on my days off I would get called in, had a ton of errands to catch up on, or things just wouldn’t go as planned, leaving me with no recipes and no content to share. Over the last few weeks I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting about why I started a blog in the first place and how I can get back to that. It began as a place to share my creations, my life, and voice. I wanted to inspire other people to create masterpieces and disasters, but to create nonetheless.
So let’s skip to where I am now: My creations don’t get to happen as often as I’d like with working a fulltime retail job, my life went through some major upheavals of change over the last few years (divorce + cross country move + moving again), and my voice became quiet as I needed the time and privacy to figure out exactly who I had become through that change.
I’m always waiting to be on the other side of things so that I can write about how to navigate through it all and in turn I’m not writing at all because I’m never fully breaking through to the other side. And no I’m not about to quote Jim Morrison here.. I’m just trying to say that we’re always striving for that next level in life or that next goal to tackle and to remain silent during the in-between process and instead waiting until we’ve overcome it all is just a disservice to everyone else out there in the “in-between.” It isolates us in a time of our lives that we need others to say.. “I’m down in the trench with you.. I’m here.”
What I want to create is a community of people that can bounce ideas back and forth, engage with one another, and support each other through all the weird interim times of figuring shit out. Careers, relationships, new business ventures, etc.. My friends and I love each other dearly and support one another through anything, but we’re in very different places in our lives. Sometimes it’s nice to have people in the same boat as you and eating the same “shit sandwich” of a path to pursue independence, entrepreneurship, and a life outside the norm.
I never wanted this blog to become some “Dear Diary” type space, but I think I just need to let go and let it become whatever it’s going to become. I still love cooking, creating, and sharing those experiences and recipes with you, so you can always expect that, but maybe it’s time I allow things to become a little bit more personal in between the main courses and cocktails.
It feels a little scary and unnerving to think about sharing some of the writing I typically reserve for personal never-to-see-the-light-of-day journaling, but every time I’ve pushed past my fears something amazing and transformative comes from it. So I suppose that means I just have to keep leaning into the uncomfortable and unknown.
Has there been a time in your life that you carried around a particular fear or hesitation? Who or what helped you push past it? I always love hearing from you so leave your comments and thoughts below!