Alright it’s the beginning of the end (of the year that is) and I’m ready to end it strong! I don’t know if it’s just the right culmination of stress, anger, energy, and determination, but I have this fire to make things happen right now. I’ve been creating more regular content, reviving my newsletter, and writing out some concrete plans on how to navigate from the life I’m currently living to the one I want to be.

I realized that when I share with people some of my stories and struggles, the message I try to leave them with is to not live a life of mediocrity. Do not settle for anything less than extraordinary. We are not here to live out the same broken story of our pasts, relive the history of our parents’ bad marriage, or to keep working that safe yet soul draining job because it’s “all we know.” We all deserve better and I suppose I have to remind myself of that now and then.

One of my anchors to mediocrity has been my search for the dream farmhouse. I keep telling myself that things will change when I find the right home, but finding it isn’t happening as smooth or as quickly as I would like it to. I know, I know… “Everything will come together as it should.” but trust me, it doesn’t make the pill any easier to swallow in the meantime when you’re living almost 40 minutes apart from your partner, working opposite schedules and lucky to squeeze in a date night every other week, majority of your belongings are boxed up in your parent’s basement still, and you have Pinterest ideas and magazine clippings just piling up for that dream kitchen you’ve been trying to design for 2 years.

Letting that go and realizing I have the ability to change other areas of my life while I’m waiting has felt liberating. It’s one of those things that is written right in front of you the whole time, but you’re so focused on this ONE goal that you lose sight of everything else. And if you’ve found that you’ve done this too or might currently be.. here’s a bit of honesty for you to feel better about it..

Just a few weeks ago I was screaming into the phone at my boyfriend (thank you for loving me even through moments like that) that I was either going to give up and get an apartment in town or move to another state (again) because things weren’t happening here. I’ve also threatened to buy a ridiculously pricey motorcycle with my down payment instead of saving it for a house since the house thing isn’t happening. Let me point out that I don’t even know how to ride a motorcycle, renting an apartment would make me miserable, and moving to another state would solve absolutely nothing. But hey, I’m only human and we all have a drama queen living deep down inside of us that comes up with these “plans” when things aren’t going our way. Thankfully I was able to come back to Planet Reality and develop a plan that doesn’t involve zip code changes and learning how to ride an expensive motorcycle.

Onto some blog updates! A newsletter is maybe a bit antiquated for some, but playing the algorithm games with Facebook and Instagram posts so that my readers can actually see my content is exhausting. I try to grow authentically and by word of mouth so I don’t pay to boost or sponsor my content. My email list is the only platform where I can reach everyone organically and I think the best way to engage with you all one on one. I read each and every comment, email, and direct message and truly value the connections I make with everyone. So if you find you’re missing out on some of my posts, just simply subscribe to my newsletter and you won’t miss out ever again. You’ll receive a roundup of new posts at the end of the month, get access to exclusive recipes that will only be shared in email, and be the first to know about new projects and updates (like if I buy a house and/or motorcycle?). And not to worry.. I still love writing Daily Life posts and connecting with you all here, so these will be a regular feature.

Comment below and share with me one of your favorite Drama Queen Freak Out Moments or helpful tips on how you overcame a big goal or challenge! And to keep up with future posts, subscribe below!

Summer seems like a season where you get to kick back, work very little, and live a playful, stress-free life. My summer seems to have missed that memo and has been quite the opposite.

I’m at one of those annoyingly frustrating, emotionally exhausting plateaus in my life. I don’t want to say it’s a downhill point because I’m generally happy, grateful, and optimistic for a lot of things in my life.. I just happen to be hitting a rather hard brick wall in a few other areas.

The biggest obstacle so far has been finding a home. I thought I found one and things were going well until the inspection, which revealed that this home wasn’t going to be a quick, easy, fixer upper as we initially thought. My offer was contingent upon the inspection and appraisal allowing me to respectfully decline and get my earnest money back. Unfortunately the seller seemed to be out to make a quick buck and didn’t want to return my money to me or release me from the contract. My realtor negotiated a deal and I’ll be getting all of my funds back, but he had to take a hit in the pocket book because of them. It was a souring experience with something I’ve been looking forward to and left me leary of looking at/making an offer on any future homes.

In the end I know that things have happened as they should. I was going against my own intuition with buying this home. Everyone tells you that you have to start somewhere and get a “starter home” so I just kind of went for it. I thought it was just the fear of making such a big decision, but I think it was actually my gut saying.. “THIS ISN’T THE ONE!” I’ve been waiting for so long and it’s frustrating to see no proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, but I refuse to just settle.

After throwing myself a little pity party over the last few weeks I’m finally feeling strong again and ready to move forward. I’m working really hard to generate more content for the blog, launch an Etsy shop again, and nail down the rest of my reservations for Europe. My home will find it’s way to me in the process, so I’m going to focus on the things I can control in the meantime.

Thank you to everyone that has shared words of encouragement and kind messages over the last few weeks. Most of you didn’t even know what was going on, but somehow knew I needed some love and kindness to get through.

Until the next time..

-Sasha-

I’ve been trying to spend as much time outdoors when the weather allows and Chris surprised me with a little nature date a few weeks ago. We checked out a state park we had never been to before and took Bella The Basset along for the adventure. We walked some trails and then ventured down to the Middle River Ford where you can drive across. I know that’s probably pretty lame, but I found it to be the coolest thing! The park was also in the town that I’ve been looking for houses in, so I’ve got my fingers crossed that my little dream farmhouse will become available any day now so we can spend more time at this park.

Always keeping a little Oregon with me ^

By the way you know you’re getting old (and loving it) when your idea of an exciting Saturday is visiting a greenhouse you’ve been wanting to check out. I’m like a 93 year old woman at heart. Nonetheless I had fun wandering around Harvey’s Greenhouse and picked up a little cactus to add to my growing indoor plant collection.

During the last few weeks I’ve felt like I’ve been in a bit of a funk that I can’t shake. I require a lot of downtime and alone time to decompress and recharge myself mentally and creatively and it’s not something I get all that often. With a job that requires me to be very social with the public, running errands, trying to carve out time to focus on the blog, making time for family, friends, and my relationship.. I’m left with very little time to myself. It’s tough to explain to the people you love without their feelings getting hurt because it can often come off that you’re irritated by them or that you just don’t want to make time for them, but it’s definitely not the case. I think that’s why I have such a strong desire to be successfully self employed. To be able to set my own schedule, work and create alone, so that I’m recharged and can spend more genuine quality time with the people that matter most.

Right now I’m stuck in that middle ground between Point A and Point B and it’s some of the most challenging and grueling ground to cross because you feel like you’re moving at a snail’s pace. As frustrating as it all is, I’m choosing to remain optimistic, do the work, take the time, and enjoy all the little moments in this middle area.

Speaking of which.. I’m going to get to it! I’ve got a thrifting day planned with a friend and then some garden time with Punk!

Thanks to everyone “stuck in the middle” with me. <3

I wanted to start the week out with a Daily Life post, not only to catch everyone up on the last several weeks, but to use this to hold myself accountable. I’ve been struggling with finding motivation and energy to focus on creative work, leaving me feeling even more burned out at my fulltime job. I want to get back to one of the very basic reasons of why I began my blog and that was to create every single day. Whether it’s just a small craft, large scale wall art, recipe, or a blog post I’m writing.. I want to get back to that feeling of producing something with my own two hands and creative mind.

I’m going to be setting my alarm a little earlier than usual (ask for mercy for those that have to deal with me being a tired grump this week) and to focus on something creative.. even if I can only spare 15 minutes. I’ll share a few of the projects or creations on my Instagram stories this week so be sure to follow @TattooedMartha to see more. If you would like to do the same, please feel free to tag me in your own creations so I can share some of them!

This year’s garden feels like it may never happen with the Game of Thrones-like never ending winter we’ve been getting. Tomorrow’s forecast: SNOW. I have all of my seeds started in the garage under a grow light, but my main concern is the garden itself. I’m changing the layout from last year and adding a few more archways for shade and a potting station. My days off are limited and don’t often sync up with the few nice days we have so I haven’t been able to get much work done. Fingers crossed that this is the last of it so I can sink my hands into some of that rich Iowa soil soon!

The hunt for the perfect farmhouse also continues. Last week we had a Mother/Daughter day and drove over to Winterset, a cute little town just 30 minutes from my parents. We spent some time exploring antique shops, eating at the famous Northside Cafe, and then looking at a few houses in the area. Of course the one I wanted most was this gorgeous 1860’s brick home that desperately needed a new roof, had extensive water damage, and looked like several murders had occurred throughout the decades. My list of dream home amenities are as follows: Big kitchen, farmhouse sink, claw-foot tub, and at least 2 ghosts.. preferably friendly.

It’s tough to save money long-term for a thing you don’t possess yet.. it sometimes feels like you’re saving for nothing so each month I’ve purchased a small piece of furniture or decor for my “farmhouse.” It may seem like I’m putting the cart before the horse, but it helps me stay motivated that I’m working toward something I’ll have very soon and not this distant fairy-tale goal.

How do you stay motivated on long term goals? What goals are you working toward currently this year? Leave your comments below!

Have a great week!

The past few months I’ve felt really guilty about not posting as often as I should. Typically on my days off I would get called in, had a ton of errands to catch up on, or things just wouldn’t go as planned, leaving me with no recipes and no content to share. Over the last few weeks I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting about why I started a blog in the first place and how I can get back to that. It began as a place to share my creations, my life, and voice. I wanted to inspire other people to create masterpieces and disasters, but to create nonetheless.

So let’s skip to where I am now: My creations don’t get to happen as often as I’d like with working a fulltime retail job, my life went through some major upheavals of change over the last few years (divorce + cross country move + moving again), and my voice became quiet as I needed the time and privacy to figure out exactly who I had become through that change.

I’m always waiting to be on the other side of things so that I can write about how to navigate through it all and in turn I’m not writing at all because I’m never fully breaking through to the other side. And no I’m not about to quote Jim Morrison here.. I’m just trying to say that we’re always striving for that next level in life or that next goal to tackle and to remain silent during the in-between process and instead waiting until we’ve overcome it all is just a disservice to everyone else out there in the “in-between.” It isolates us in a time of our lives that we need others to say.. “I’m down in the trench with you.. I’m here.”

What I want to create is a community of people that can bounce ideas back and forth, engage with one another, and support each other through all the weird interim times of figuring shit out. Careers, relationships, new business ventures, etc.. My friends and I love each other dearly and support one another through anything, but we’re in very different places in our lives. Sometimes it’s nice to have people in the same boat as you and eating the same “shit sandwich” of a path to pursue independence, entrepreneurship, and a life outside the norm.

I never wanted this blog to become some “Dear Diary” type space, but I think I just need to let go and let it become whatever it’s going to become. I still love cooking, creating, and sharing those experiences and recipes with you, so you can always expect that, but maybe it’s time I allow things to become a little bit more personal in between the main courses and cocktails.

It feels a little scary and unnerving to think about sharing some of the writing I typically reserve for personal never-to-see-the-light-of-day journaling, but every time I’ve pushed past my fears something amazing and transformative comes from it. So I suppose that means I just have to keep leaning into the uncomfortable and unknown.

Has there been a time in your life that you carried around a particular fear or hesitation? Who or what helped you push past it? I always love hearing from you so leave your comments and thoughts below!